Friday, May 30, 2014

Getting outside of myself

I'm dragging ass this morning.  Today is going to be a busy one.  I'm about to shower and get ready for an overnight adventure.

As soon as I'm ready to go I'll be heading over to UW Medical Center to visit Cameron.  She did her round of chemo then she received her bone marrow transplant.  She ended up with graft rejection.  Then she found out the leukemia is back and as aggressive as ever.  She's back doing chemo and will have to do another bone marrow transplant.  This has been so hard on her and her family.  I'm so glad she has such an amazing little family to support her.  She is such a kind hearted friend.  This sucks.

After I visit with Cameron I'll be heading up to get Marshall.  Gotta love Friday traffic.  From there we'll head up to Jen's.

Jen's update is that her esophageal cancer is back and she keeps on getting the tiny tumors popping up in her brain.  They zap those whenever they come in and it seems to work.  But the stuff in her esophagus is a little more challenging.  She's received all the radiation there that she can.  She's about to start chemo again.  Her weight has dropped significantly.  BUT on a good note, we're going to have fun this weekend.  Marsh and I will stay over and then head over to Bastyr's Herb and Food Fair Saturday morning.  We both love herbal medicine.

As for me?  I started seeing my counselor again.  Well, one visit so far but now she's on vacation.  It's okay.  She gave me some good tools to get started on controlling my anxiety and we started some paperwork so that I don't have to worry about getting fired if I have a high anxiety day.  She also brow beat me in a very loving way to work on finding some closure.  I'm trying to put together some ideas for what would be adequate for a ritual.  Also, I need to find some good supplements to help change some brain chemistry for depression.

My body is still not back to normal.  I have *NO* idea what my cycle is doing.  Cycle day 57.  I had one day where I spotted a couple weeks ago and now nothing.  Plus I'm still broken out on my chin.  Fun.

Well, that's where I'm at.  I am trying to really revel in every minute I can.  Laying in bed with Brett.  Yummy food.  Petting Karma who purrs LOUDLY in my ear.  Getting things done.  Great friends.  Really, I am practicing gratitude wherever I can.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

Because I'm weird..

.... After this most recent miscarriage I knit a baby sweater.  Yeah, totally knowing it wouldn't be for my own baby....

What the shite was I thinking?  Don't know what the fuck to do with it now :|

Breaking Down

Fighting off crazy...