Wednesday, June 26, 2013

DOMA is gone!!!

There is a lot of news out there about DOMA being done away with.  And it's about freaking time!!!
While I've never been completely secretive about my sexuality because I have nothing to be ashamed of, I don't often go around chanting "I like boys AND girls!!!"  It doesn't affect you, folks.  But there was a time where I was not only super crazy half closeted (you know, because I'm half gay) but I was in quite the denial myself.

Although, you could regularly hear a well placed "F" bomb in my house there were still some pretty set views about religion.  This also covered same sex relationships.  I received all the same messages that most Christians get.  Including the "love the sinner, hate the sin."  In retrospect, a cop out.  Oh, some of you who have known me for enough years may have even heard that pop out of my mouth.  I've spent a lot of my adult life forgiving myself for some pretty closed minded views I held when I was younger.

So my half-gayness.... I am not a fan of the term "bi-sexual" because it comes with it connotations with being confused or promiscuous.  I am neither.  It was a lot easier for me to deny the gay side because I liked boys too.  It's a whole lot easier to ignore those feelings or just close your eyes and say, "I just care about her because she's my best friend.... or I admire her prettiness.... They're things *I* want, it's not attraction."

Without the story (it's innocent but weird) I finally admitted to myself on my 18th birthday that I had feelings for girls.  It was a punch in the eye in the greatest of ways.  I still kept it quiet for the most part (mostly from myself) for many years.  I don't think it was until after I split with Marshall's dad did I start contemplating dating both men and women.  As I started dating Brett about a year and a half after Marshall's dad and I split, I didn't really have a chance to explore it.

By all means, I could be one of those women who say "I'm hetero because I'm with a man."  Well... I'm not. I'm with my husband and I love him so very much.  But that doesn't mean I'm no longer attracted to women. I would love to see one woman out there who is married and doesn't find anyone else attractive.

However, it sucks so bad that because I happened to fall in love with a person who is considered acceptable by our country, I was able to marry him.  What if he had been a woman?  I'll skip over all the legalities (and there are plenty, especially considering Marshall is involved) but say it's not fair.

Part of me things EVERYONE should have only civil unions and only religious entities can perform marriages (that have no legal binding).  Some countries do this and I think it's great.  Give me a hand fasting any day.  But the Union would provide partners of any gender with protection.  No getting kids taken away by pissed off exes.  No people getting kicked out of their homes because of their partner's zealot family.  No being kept from those on their deathbed.  WTF, people!?  Don't want gay marriage?  Don't marry someone of the same gender!  How the fuck does it effect you?!

So, there it is.  One step dealt with.  The Descrimination Defense of Marriage Act is gone.  Good riddance!

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