Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Hush, brain

I think too much.

 

I think most of us think too much.

 

I’m struggling with Brett being away.  I cannot even tell you how happy I am that he is doing this for himself.  I wish I could convey how excited he is when he talks about this or that.  He came home for the weekend and was going on about this sort of procedure or that sort of condition.  It was both interesting to hear but also remarkably wonderful to hear so much happiness in his voice.  He is doing amazingly.  96% on his first test!  Way to go, Brett!!!! :D

 

But me.  I need a certain amount of alone time.  I like having some time, every once in a while, to be alone.  I do believe I’ve had more than my preferred amount of alone time.  He has 3 more weeks of school.  This means aside from one Marshie weekend I’ll be alone that whole time.  For a brief moment that sounded appealing (never really have been alone in all of my adult life).  Now I know what it’s like and I’m done with it.  Nope, don’t like it.

 

I’ve talked to people who say energetically we’re going through some extra challenging times.  I know I feel tons of ups and downs right now.  In general I’m happy.  But days like today I’m emotionally overcharged and I just could use a good cry. 

 

I’ll get through it.  I know I’m okay.  The moment can suck and I know it’ll be okay later.  Sometimes you just have to hold on to that.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Heart

I get in the car. Brett had just taken Marshall home. I say to him on the way to get groceries, "I don't know why I'm so emotional." Brett says, "Maybe because your heart is walking around outside your body."

This guy gets me.

The tide is in....

Sometimes I'm amazed at how big my feelings feel.  I'm amazed by how the tone of a sing, some life altering situation in such a song can bring about such intense emotions that I feel it in my entire body.

I totally get why water represents emotions.  I can feel the flood of emotions through every cell of my being.

It is a most amazing experience to be a spirit, born into this feeling body.  I can see why I chose it.