Thursday, May 03, 2012

Good lord

I reread so many of my entries.. They're so much about fertility and miscarriage.  How fucking depressing.  I started getting down on myself for so blatantly obsessing about babies.  But then I thought about it.  It's an ongoing story.  And no, I don't think about it *all* of the time.  But I'm always getting my reminders of the persons missing.

Oh, this all came out about love songs.  It seems like a great deal of sad love songs can be applied to fertility challenges.

And I have a hard time applying the same kindness to myself that I gift to others.  I am often criticizing myself for still mourning.  But I just thought about it.  If I knew someone else who had been through a grand total of 6 miscarriages I think I'd cut her a little slack.  I guess I should cut me a little slack.  It's going to come back.  And as for the entries.. well, think of the time it took to write several blog entries... It is not representative of my days.  There are a great many days where I think very little about babies, pregnancies and fertility.  I have a very full life with great friends and family and a pretty good deal in general.

But hey, Johanna, it's okay to be sad sometimes.  And if you get sad again later, that's okay too.

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