Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Again

I'm fully aware that I'm a downer right now. My heart is broken more than I thought. I thought I had moved further past this. I thought I was done with this. But I'm not. I'm still devastated.

At the advice of a friend I wrote notes to each of the babies I've lost. I have six letters and I want to bury them in my yard.

In my heart I can't help but ask the question WHY do I keep getting pregnant only to lose each baby? I want to stomp my feet like a petulant child and shout how it's not fair. IT'S NOT FAIR!

Fuck me. I have to get ready for work. And I told my precious only living child I'd make him French toast.

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