Tuesday, November 22, 2011


So a whole lot has been coming up surrounding my reproductive health as of late.  A few days ago I was hemorrhaging.  By all means, this sounds scarier that it was.  It wasn't so bad that I lost consciousness or anything like that.  I did feel sleepy (and still do) and don't feel 100% recovered.  But I sought out medical attention that gave me some of the testing I had been wanting anyway.  Namely, an ultrasound.  My ovaries are NOT polycystic which was a concern, and there are no fibroids, which was also a concern.  I've recently been told that I wouldn't see whether or not endometriosis was apparent, but I am not really symptomatic of that, beyond my long cycles.  But the ultrasound, said other than slightly larger uterus, my uterus and ovaries were remarkably un-noteworthy.  Score... But it has brought up something.....

It's come up so many times over the years that people believe I should be seeking more aggressive medical help with my reproduction.  With this most recent development a doctor completely belittled me for not having a ob/gyn if I was trying to conceive.

I know the path I've chosen is not everyone's path.  Supplements, emotional healing, hands on healing, psychic healing, herbal support, occasional accupuncture and sound therapy and so on and so forth.  This is not everyone's cup of tea.  But for me it's the only thing that feels right.  I'm willing to accept that it's a hard road that may not end with me having a baby.  But it's the right one for me.  I have a hard time with this aspect because I know a lot of people just don't understand why I wouldn't jump to the medical side of the fence (or at least toe the line a bit more).

I understand the odds are against me, but even if it doesn't end in a viable pregnancy and a healthy baby I can honestly say I will have followed a path that led to healing; physically and beyond.

That being said we're trying to find a good plan on how to get out of debt (we're not the best with finances) which will lead to us being able to get in a bigger place.  Once we get into a bigger place we can begin procedures to see if we can foster adopt.  I'm still pursuing conceiving but I'm pretty determined to find this missing person from my family regardless of how.  My body?  Someone else's?  Not that important to me (although it is true I'd love to carry another child again).  If we conceive and carry after the fact?  Bonus!  I certainly wouldn't mind having a couple more kids!

I have a nutritional/herbal protocol I'll be starting as soon as my bleeding is over.  A lot of the bleeding pointed to the fact I was nutritionally deficient and the purging I did a few months back just made it worse (although in some ways better, too).  Some of the deficiencies create a terrible spiral.  Namely the iron.  Lack of iron makes you bleed more.. which makes you lack iron, which makes you bleed more..... you see how this one ends.  So I'm working on some iron supplementation: yellow dock, nettle and dandelion.  I'm considering this recipe I found for a regular iron supplementation that doesn't involve me drinking quite so much tea. ;)  Anyway... this with some other herbs to help balance my hormones and my liver health, I do believe I've found a protocol I feel good about.

I know that this is not everyone's path, but for me it's the only thing that feels right and I'm willing to accept that it's not an easy road and that I might not end up with a baby.  But it is the right one for me.  I don't judge anyone else's path.  If I did it would probably just mean that A. I'm an asshole and B. that I'm not secure about the path that I'm on.  I might be a bit of an asshole but I'm not judging anyone else's journey ;)

1 comment:

ElleBelle said...

I support you!