Friday, August 05, 2011

Funny on a dime

I wish I was one of those bloggers who could whip out wicked funny shit on a whim.  I can't say any of my blog entries are remarkably awesome.  Sometimes I luck out and I hear the whisperings of whatever muse seems to grace me with its presence...... again, sometimes.  I wish I had that incredible talent to tap into that insightful and funny part of me like some of the other blog writers do.  I'm not even entirely sure I *have* an audience.  It's okay though.  I decided not too long ago that I would just write what I want.  I will just write what I'd like to read.  If other people aren't interested they won't read.  It's not an entire waste.  I'm getting things out of my head and I'm typing.  I actually like typing... as long as I have an ergonomic keyboard.  I'm a keyboard wimp especially since my year and a half old biking injury (don't let me fool you, I was riding around on my child sized cruiser and I'm just so out of shape I pulled something and now it won't get better.  But hey, I totally made it sound like I'm some cycling diva, didn't I? Heh).

Today I was able to tap into that inner writer and used it at work.  I just started back with REI this week.  This is my fourth time as a seasonal employee.  I have tons of friends there.  This time I'm actually taking advantage of the medical on the offhand chance I get knocked up again.  Anyway.. So we had this assignment where we were supposed to send an email to one of the trainers explaining what 100% Satisfaction Guarantee means to us.  You see, REI has a customer service guarantee that is similar to Nordstrom (Google it, seriously).  Well, my literary muse (maybe I should come up with a name for him/her) bit me and and I rambled off some long explanation about how I wanted my chiropractor friend to stop talking about his Vibram shoes so I just bought them so I could have some silence during my adjustment...... For the record.  I lied.  I LOVE it when I get to chat with Paul.  He's totally the type of guy who would have been my geek BFF back in Jr. High/High School.  But I assume it's like when your husband bitches about the clothes you buy or the food you cook.  Secretly he loves it.... right?  Anyway.  I just had to come up with a segue for why I bought the shoes.  Because lord knows you have to make some shit up to why you were CHOOSING to put on shoes with individual toes.  Because, apparently it's not enough that I have weird little hobbit feet I have to put freakish looking shoes on them so EVERYONE looks at them. :|  But I digress... So, I fabricated the segue in order to tell this story about how I hate returning things but was thrilled that no one brow beat me for bringing back used five finger shoes because the rubber toe protector hurt my mutant elf toes (they seriously point upwards).  Anyhow.  I don't even remember all of what I wrote but I was feeling inspired.  After I hit send I didn't give it a second thought.  So class lets out.  I had to finish a quick story to a different trainer about the kick ass tattoo my cousin, Amanda has on her leg (at first glance they're classy koi.  second glance you'll notice that one is a zombie koi eating another koi. how awesome can you get?!).  The trainer had a printed copy of my email out and told me she laughed so hard she nearly cried.  Do you realize how that makes me feel?  Yeah, akward.  Oh, don't get me wrong. I was thankful and proud and extremely flattered.  I'm just not that good at being gracious and so I sounded like a fool at my attempts at saying "thank you."  


But I am grateful for those moments where I feel I can put words out there in such a way they bring joy to others.  It's a great feeling to laugh and if I can do that for someone once in a while I feel pretty damned content.  I work Sunday.  I'll try to email myself the letter and maybe I'll post it.  


So now that I have created this expectation of writing funny shit you'll have to watch.  I'll write some dumb ass thing about bunny murdering crows (it was a real monologue I came up with one day.  terrible and weird. Oddly amusing).

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